thecommunitywewill.org

Given all of the attention the case of Jaycee Dugard has received lately, I thought it was a relevant example of how a community's involvement can and could have made a huge difference in the lives of so many-Jaycee, her family, her children. Neighbors say they knew there were children living in the backyard, and while it sounds like law enforcement was called, it does not appear that anyone ever notified child protective services. This vital system in our community has been much maligned, criticized, and ridiculed. Certainly, our community's systems need some work, and at the same time, I think few of us can truly appreciate the difficulty of this work, and few are willing to acknowledge that the responsibility lies with all of us to take the safety and well being of our community's children to heart. There is something that EVERYONE can do about this issue. If you want to criticize, I challenge you to also take action. The action can be small or large, but everyone has a role, and everyone can make a difference.

You have an opportunity to make a difference anytime you see a child hurt, in need, or poorly supervised. You can offer help to a neighbor, friend or family member that you know is in a stressful situation. It can be as simple as offering an overwrought mother an hour or two of respite in an effort to prevent her from taking the stress out on her children. It can be cooking a meal to give a family a break or because you are worried that it is the end of the month, and they may not have enough food. It can be reaching out to a friend of your child's who you know doesn't get a lot of support or encouragement at their own house. If you fear the situation is a true danger, it is your opportunity and your responsibility to contact Child Protective Services and make them aware of the situation. While those of us in the social service field are mandated reporters, it is the moral responsibility of everyone in the community to make that call when you fear a child is in danger, being neglected, or not attending school.

Before you step in to vilify the systems that exist, take some time to think, really think, about how hard that job is. How would you make the call to determine whether a child is safe, or not? Would you be able to predict that a parent who has no history of violence is about to snap and smother a child? Would you be willing to take a child, literally kicking and screaming away from the only home he has ever known, regardless of how dirty that home was? Would you risk putting a child in a stranger's home, doing perhaps irreparable emotional damage, simply because her parents couldn't afford to pay the electric bill in the summer? And, how would you know when it was okay and safe to bring those children back home? All of these are real concerns, real struggles, and real choices faced by those in " the system" every day.

In the community WE will, those who take the time to point out problems must commit to working toward solutions. Those who lob criticism and insults must take action-volunteer at a school, become a foster parent, and financially support a non-profit organization that serves children. EVERYONE can and must make a commitment to create a community in which we all want to raise our children. Calling out faults and problems doesn't fix them; hard work, discussion, collaboration, and new energy fixes them. It is time for all of us to put our money, our time, our ideas and ideals where our mouths are. Commentary on the system's weaknesses is important but not sufficient. This community has resources, knowledge, a strong faith base, great programs, organizations, and services. If these resources are utilized and supported appropriately, families can receive the support, encouragement, and assistance needed. If we all commit to the community WE will, we can provide families with what they need to successfully raise their children despite challenges and poverty.

While we may never be able to completely prevent children from having to be taken from their parents and homes, we can certainly minimize the need to do so. No parent is perfect. Everyone has different standards of cleanliness, understanding of appropriate child activities, and emphasis on education. Ask just about any child though, where they want to be, and who they trust most, whom they want to be with, and they will tell you HOME with their PARENTS. The majority of children raised in foster care endeavor to return to their birth parents. The opportunity and ability to support parents in raising their children without judgment is the true statement of what we are working towards. This is the community I will. How about you?

Danielle Dreitzer

Executive Director, Hopelink